


Subconscious Desires

by Reiya_Wakayama



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Realized Love, Unrequited Love, Watanuki needs all the help he can get in some areas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 21:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11113248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiya_Wakayama/pseuds/Reiya_Wakayama
Summary: Watanuki seems to be hiding something. But what if he doesn't know he's hiding it? Well, we can always count on Yuuko-san to help him out. Just don't be surprised if things seem to go slightly off course.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Geez, I can't believe forgot to post this. My first fic into this fandom and into fanfiction writing ever. It's not betaed and only really had a quick once over so there are probably mistakes. I mean, I wrote this over 9 years ago. XD Always a DouWata fan though.
> 
> Enjoy.

**Chapter 1**

 

Watanuki scowls at Doumeki’s expressionless face in annoyance. _‘Damn that Yuuko. Because of her, I have to share a hotel room with this stupid idiot on this stupid mission.’_ Glaring silently for a moment, he throws himself into one of the chairs and starts mumbling to himself.

 

“…,” Doumeki just ignores him. Watanuki, after hearing from Yuuko that they were sharing a hotel room, had already exploded and screamed at Doumeki for about ten minutes before he stormed off from the room. Pulling the finger out of the ear closest to the ranting boy, Doumeki followed after. He now sat on the other chair opposite the seer.

 

The room is about medium sized with a queen-size bed in the center, a table with two chairs and a small bathroom. Watanuki jumps up and turns to Doumeki with a glare and states, “I’m going to take a shower, don’t even think about coming near the bathroom until I get out.” Storming over to the bed, he grabs his bag with a change of clothes in it and he stomps into the bathroom and shuts the door with a loud _thump_.

 

Doumeki, having already taken a shower earlier that day, decides to get ready for bed. Changing into his robe he walks over to the bed and lies down to sleep while listening to the sound of the water in the shower.

 

~*~

 

Watanuki leans his forehead on the shower wall, lost in thought. His thoughts went to another mission they had had a few days earlier. It had started out pretty smoothly, but they had failed to complete it. But he could still remember what had happened, up to a point:

 

_“I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GO ON A MISSION WITH YOU AGAIN!” Watanuki screamed at Doumeki as they walked down the road toward they’re destination. They had been asked to exorcist a spirit for one of Yuuko’s customers. It apparently was destroying their property and scaring away customers with the racket it was making._

_As they arrived at the store that looked more like a mansion than a store, Watanuki stopped as he felt something inside._

_“What is it?” Doumeki asked, looking at the seer next to him._

_“I don’t know, but it’s powerful. I can feel it all the way out here. Well, we better get this over with,” Watanuki said and walked toward the front door. The storeowner who asked, “Are you Watanuki-kun and Doumeki-kun”, greeted them at the door._

_“Yeah, can you show us where the spirit is?” Watanuki asked as he took his shoes off at the front door and walked in. Inside, the force he felt was even stronger than outside._

_“It is in the main room that everything has been happening. Come with me.” The storeowner motioned them to follow him deeper into the store. The closer to the room he got the stronger the force got, but it didn’t feel bad, just… strong._

_As they entered the room, he stopped in his tracks as he felt dizziness wash over him and he stayed there for a moment. Shaking his head, he walked to the center of the room and stood there frowning. He heard the storeowner leave and Doumeki’s breathing as he stood there waiting for Watanuki to react to the spirit._

_All of a sudden they heard laughing as someone appeared out of thin air. Watanuki turned to see if Doumeki noticed any thing and saw him staring at the person. It wasn’t a spirit. They had walked into a demon’s trap._

_The demon was a tall woman with long black hair that fell to her waist, but it was in a braid. From here, he could see that her eyes were white, she had no pupils or irises: was she blind? She wore a kimono with a black and white checkered pattern on it._

_Smiling, she waved her arm and the room changed. Now it was made of marble instead of wood and cement, with tall flowing columns around the edges of the room. The floor was the same-checkered pattern as her kimono. The ceiling was black and the walls white._

_“Ah, so you have finally come at last, Kimihiro Watanuki. And I see you have brought Doumeki- kun, too. I guess I’ll have to keep him busy for a little while.” Smiling, they saw all her teeth were sharp and pointed._

_She waved her arm again, and Doumeki flew through the air and landed against the wall. Marble flowed out and surrounded him, pinning him to the wall._

_Watanuki blinked and the scene shifted back to Doumeki standing there frozen, his eyes closed as he grimaced in pain. Nothing had happened, an illusion had been placed on him, but Watanuki could see what the archer saw._

_Turning back to her, he asked,” What is it you want? My soul? Blood?”_

_“No, my dear, I actually have something to give. Though, I don’t know how much you will like it.” Disappearing, she appeared right in front of him, grabbing him by the throat. “Look into my eyes, Kimihiro Watanuki, and see what will happen if you don’t figure out what you truly desire.” His eyes opened of no accord and he saw her eyes, bottomless pits of white and then he blacked out. “Sleep Watanuki, and dream,” a voice murmured above him as he drifted into darkness._

_~*~_

_Doumeki knew it was just an illusion, but he couldn’t break it, no matter how he struggled against it. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath and opened his eyes. He saw Watanuki with the demon’s hands around his throat and watched as he blacked out and collapsed onto the floor._

_Doumeki started to struggle anew and saw the demon look up at him. Smiling, she disappeared and the illusion disappeared too. Falling to one knee, he shook himself of the last of the illusions effects. Struggling to his feet, he went running over to Watanuki and felt his pulse. It was faster than normal, but it was slowing. Picking him up, he ran for the door and Yuuko’s shop._

 

~*~

 

The next thing he remembered was waking up in Yuuko’s shop and Doumeki asleep on the other side of the room against the wall. Yuuko had told him what had happened and that because he failed the mission, he had to make her a late night snack.

 

He knows he has to get out of the shower soon so he washes his hair and rinses it. He gets out and changes into his pajama and dries his hair. Walking out of the bathroom, he sees Doumeki was asleep on his side on the bed.

 

Growling, Watanuki glares at him and is about to yell at him, but a wave of exhaustion sweeps over him. He glowers for a second longer and then climbs into the bed and scoots as far as he can to the edge and falls asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

_The dream is the same as before, he is walking down a road toward something, but he can’t remember what. No matter how far he walks, he gets nowhere. And then he hears something behind him. Turning, he sees a shadowed…thing that is stalking him. He starts to run, but he is still getting nowhere and the thing is getting closer. He can feel it’s breath on the back of his neck and as it is about to grab him_ …

 

…he wakes up.

 

Gasping for breath, he shivers as he feels the cold sweat on his brow. As his heart rate slows he feels something draped over him. Looking up, Doumeki’s face swims into view a few inched from his own face. He gasps and tries to scoot away, but the arm draped over him tightens and pulls him closer.

 

He struggles against it for a few seconds, but Doumeki is too strong for him to fight against and he gives up after a moment. He lies there for a moment gasping for breath and feels himself blush bright red.

 

This is closer than he wants to be to the big oaf. He is still tired, but he doesn’t think he could sleep again. He lays there and tries to slow his breathing and heart rate. It is no use trying to fight him anymore, he is too strong.

 

He feels himself getting sleepy and as he drifts back to sleep, he thinks to himself, _‘Doumeki smells nice.’_

_~*~_

 

Doumeki wakes up with his arm wrapped around something warm and soft. Opening up an eye, he looks down and sees that it is Watanuki. He stares for a moment at his face.

 

It is hard to believe that this face that is so peaceful could be his. His skin is pale white with purple smudges under the eyes from lack of sleep. His midnight black hair is in disarray and looks soft and silky.

 

Looking down at him for a moment, he lays back down. With a smile tugging at his lips, he falls asleep next to the peaceful Watanuki.

 

_~*~_

 

Back at Yuuko’s shop, after a completed mission, Watanuki is yelling as usual. “WHY MUST I SERVE HIM LUNCH, YUUKO-SAN?”

 

“Because Watanuki… I invited him for SAKE!!! HAHAHA” she laughs at him as he yells at her. “Besides, this is in celebration of your completed mission and it’s the rest of the payment for your failed mission.”

 

“Bu-but Yuuko-san!!!!!” he wailed as she laughed again.

 

~*~

 

Watanuki stares ahead in the classroom listlessly. He is so tired. For the past week, he has been plagued with the same nightmare over and over. He barely gets enough sleep to work in Yuuko’s store, let alone go to school and stay awake, which at the moment is a challenge he was contemplating losing. The bell rings overhead and he gathers his things. It is time for the last class of the day and he is dreading P.E. He really doesn’t want to go there at the moment. It isn’t that he hates P.E. or anything like. It’s just that it is just the lack of sleep that is making the class so difficult. With his mind befuddled with lack of sleep, he doesn’t know how coordinated he can be and the field looks like a dangerous zoon to him.

 

Quickly changing into his P.E. clothes, he goes out to see what they are doing today. He sees a couple of soccer balls on the ground where they are all supposed to meet up. He groans quietly, _‘Great, it has to be a demanding sport.’_ It meant he is going to have to concentrate on not getting killed or at least not getting hit by the ball.

 

He sighs again. “Oi, what’s with you today?” Doumeki demands right behind him. Watanuki jumps a few inches off the ground and spins to face him.

 

“AND WHAT’S IT TO YOU HOW I ACT?” Watanuki demands. He takes a breath and turns from him. It takes too much energy to yell at him and he needs to save it for the coming ordeal.

 

“Oi,” Watanuki ignores Doumeki as he walks out onto the field, “Oi, Watanuki.”

 

“What?” he finally asks Doumeki as he turns around.

 

“What’s the matter with you? You look like the living dead. Do you feel well?” Doumeki asks softly as he puts him hand on Watanuki’s forehead to feel if he has a fever. Watanuki yanks from his grasp and blushing bright red snaps, “I‘M FINE, JUST TIRED.” He stalks away. Doumeki watches him walk away with a worried expression on his face for a moment before he wipes it clean and puts on his regular bland, expressionless mien.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 

Watanuki sighs as he hears the final bell ring. School is over for the day and tomorrow is Sunday so there is no school then and he can sleep in. He takes a step and groans. In his sleep deprived state, he hadn’t seen the ball coming and had been hit right above the knee.

 

He knows there is going to be a bruise there tomorrow. Ignoring the pain, he walks to the changing room to clean up and grab his things. On his way out, he sees Himawari-san leaning against the wall waiting for him. “HIMAWARI-SANNNN!” he cries out joyously.

 

“Ah, Watanuki-kun, how are you?” she asks and smiles at him. _‘Ahh, Himawari-san is so cute and nice,’_ he thought to himself.

 

He starts to reply when he hears an unmistakable “Oi” from behind him. He ignores it.

 

“Oi,” Doumeki calls again.

 

“WHAT?” he screams at him. Doumeki puts his finger in his ear to block out the harsh sound.

 

“How is your leg?” he asks in a polite, bland voice.

 

Watanuki blinks for a moment, “Fine, why?”

 

“Just wondering, it looked like you were about to cry or something from the pain, but I guess not,” he remarked in that monotone voice.

 

“WHY YOU…”

 

“Watanuki-kun, you were hurt today in P.E.?” Himawari asks, concern in her voice though she doesn’t touch him. Her bad luck would probably cause even more pain to him, though they don’t talk about it.

 

“Himawari-san, I’m fine, it’s just a bruise. No need to worry,” he assured her. They reach his locker and he gathers the rest of his belongings.

 

“Oh, okay than I hope you feel better. I have to go, and help out my teacher so I’ll see you Monday.” She waved at them.

 

“BYEBYE HIMAWARI-SANNNN!” Watanuki calls to her and waves. When she is out of sight he turns and glares at Doumeki. “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” he screams at him.

 

“Nothing,” Doumeki replies as he put the finger back in his ear.

 

~*~

 

“WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME AGAIN?” Watanuki yells at him, his hackles standing on end like a cat. (This is a pun from the manga.)

 

“Yuuko-san told me to walk you to the shop and she asked me over there for sake.”

 

He stomps into the shop and sees Yuuko seated at her table on the back porch with three bottles of sake on it, cups, and a pot of tea. One of the bottles is empty and she and Mokona are working on their second.

 

“Yuuko-san, why must you drink so much liquor every day?” he demands.

 

“Ahh, but Watanuki, what’s more fun than drinking sake and tea with friends?” Yuuko asks in a slightly slurred voice as she downs more sake.

 

“Nothing, none of you are my friends,” he retorts hotly. He jumps out of the way as Mokona jumps for him. He misses by an inch, bouncing off the wall and strikes Watanuki in the back of the head.

 

“But, I’m your friend Watanuki,” he says happily and gives him a kiss on the face.

 

“Get off of me,” Watanuki grabs him and flings him at the table. He bounces off of it and lands on the table. Grabbing the sake bottle, he takes a gulp of it.

 

“Watanukiiiiiii…” Yuuko asks, “Can you please make us some *Okonomiyaki and some yakimeshi* please?”

 

Growling, he stalks to the kitchen to prepare the dishes, grumbling something about the great Watanuki.

 

~*~

 

He stands in the kitchen, washing the last dishes and reviewing the rest of the afternoon. Yuuko and Mokona had drunk three more bottles and had eaten large helpings of okonomiyaki and yakimeshi. They were now asleep, snoring in their beds. It had taken both Doumeki and himself to get Yuuko into her room. He had flung Mokona in there after her.

 

Doumeki is now on the front porch drinking some more of the tea he had drunk earlier. _‘Why doesn’t that idiot just go home? I don’t need his help anymore and don’t want him here,’_ he thought to himself angrily.

 

He just put the last dish away when he hears Doumeki open the kitchen door behind him. “Oi, here’s the pot and cups.”

 

Watanuki turns to yell at him, but sighs. He is too tired to yell at him. “Whatever just set them over here?” he replied and turns the faucet back on to clean them.

 

“Are you okay?” Doumeki asks as he set the pot and cups on the counter and leans against it with his arms crossed. “You seem kind of lagging today.”

 

“I told you, I’m just tired. Now you can go home so I can finish everything up in peace,” Watanuki snaps at him. He waits a few minutes, but when Doumeki doesn’t leave, he gets annoyed. He looks up, about to yell at him and stops. Doumeki is staring at him.

 

Something lurks in his eyes. Some emotion in his otherwise emotionless face that sends chills down Watanuki’s spine. It makes his heart pound while goose flesh was raises on his arms. He blushes slightly, but says nothing. Finally Doumeki heaves himself off the counter and walks out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

 

Watanuki sags against the counter, shaken. _‘What was that?’_ he asked himself. Watanuki shivers slightly as a cool draft blows across his sweat-dampened skin. Straightening, he finishes the rest of the dishes in record time and rushes out of the kitchen.

 

It is too late to go to his apartment so he goes to the room Yuuko lets him use. Getting undressed, he takes a quick, cool shower to wash away the sweat and lingering feelings. Dressing into the light cotton-sleeping robe that is on a stool outside the bathroom, he crawls into bed and shut his eyes, though sleep is a ways away and not restful.

 

~*~

 

_He runs down the road to some unknown destination. He hears pursuit behind him, but refuses to look behind to see what it is. No matter how fast he runs, no ground is covered and the thing behind him steadily gains on him. He starts to panic, but doesn’t cry out. It will only fuel the thing’s desire to catch him and make it run faster._

_Picking up his pace, he runs on. It is no use, it still gains on him. He knows it is only a few yards behind him. He hears its rasping breath and smells it’s disgusting stench._

_He feels its breath on the back of his neck. It is about to pounce. He hears its eerie howl and about to scream…_

 

Watanuki wakes up with a gasp. He is coated it sweat and gasping for breath. His blankets are kicked off and a gust of air makes him shiver. Getting up, he wraps his robe tighter around himself and he walks to the bathroom.

 

He washes his sweat-drenched face in cool water. It helps him wake up and shake off the nightmare’s grip on him. Walking to the back of the shop, he stops on the back porch. The wind blows through the trees, bringing the scent of rain to come. He sighs, as the last of the nightmare fades from his mind.

 

“Watanuki, why are you up so late?” Yuuko-san asks him as she lounges against one of the poles.

 

“Bad dreams… woke up. I’m going back to sleep.” He turns to walk back inside.

 

“You know Watanuki; bad dreams tend to be prophetic dreams. If you don’t figure out what they are trying to tell you, than they have a nasty tendency of becoming real. You better figure it out soon or you might lose yourself to the dreams prediction.”

 

Shaken, he turns around to gape at her, but she is not there. She had disappeared while he was turned. Shaking away his apprehension, he walks back inside.

 

It takes a few hours for him to fall asleep, but a least he sleeps dreamlessly.

 

~*~

*Okonomiyaki- Japanese pancakes, Okonami means anything you want. It’s like a snake or junk food and is really popular.

 

*yakimeshi- fried rice- usually filled with some vegetables and egg.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 

He opens his eyes to a blurred ceiling. Rubbing his eyes, he sits up and glares at his bed. No matter how long he sleeps, he still feels tired. It is like his strength is being bled dry.

_You better figure it out soon or you might lose yourself to the dreams prediction._ Yuuko’s voice flits through his head as he remembers what she had said the night before. Is he really losing himself to the dream? Is it consuming his strength before it takes his mind?

 

 _‘It can’t be that. I’m probably coming down with something which combined with the lack of sleep to make me feel like shit,’_ he thought to himself as he heaved himself out of bed.

 

Trudging to the bathroom, he slips into the shower and turns it on. He stands there and leans against the wall as the water warms and runs down his aching body. “Why is this happening to me?” he asks himself quietly. “I never asked for this to happen.”

_If you don’t figure out what they are trying to tell you…_ What are the dreams trying to tell him? Going over the dream in his mind he concludes all but one thing made no sense. The only thing familiar in the dream is where he is. He has been on that road, but can’t for the life of him remember what road it is and where it leads.

 

Washing his hair, he slips back out of the shower after turning it off and dons another robe. Since it is Sunday and there is no school, he is going to work in Yuuko’s shop for most, or all, of the day.

 

“Watanuki, where’s breakfast?” he hears Yuuko’s voice float down the hall from where he stands outside his door.

 

“It’s not ready yet. You’re going to have to wait and YOU CAN’T DRINK SAKE YET, IT’S STILL MORNING,” he yells back at her. The only response is her faint laughter. Grumbling, he goes into the kitchen to make some omelets for her.

 

~*~

 

He has just finished cleaning the kitchen, when something smacks into the back of his head. “Watanukiiiii,” Mokona cries as he sits on his head. “Bring out SAKE, SAKE!” he cries at the top of his lungs.

 

Reaching for the fuzzy, black ball, Watanuki yells, “Oh no, today, I’m going to make you into a nice fat dumpling, after I’ve skinned you, mashed you into a dumpling shape, covered you in flour and dumped you into a pot of hot oil, I’ll serve you to Yuuko-san as a sake treat with a dipping sauce.” His imagination in overdrive, he goes to grab Mokona, but catches air.

 

Mokona jumps out of the kitchen with Watanuki in hot pursuit. “Why you, get back here,” Watanuki yells. He runs to the back porch where Yuuko sits at her favorite table with Doumeki.

 

“Watanuki, where’s the sake? I sent Mokona to tell you to bring some,” Yuuko asks.

 

Sighing he replied, “Hang on, let me go get it.” Going back to the kitchen, he grabs three sake bottles and sets them on the counter. Going to the stove, he takes off the teapot of hot water that he had warmed up for tea and sets some tea bags in it to let it steep.

 

Gathering everything on a tray, with some snakes for Yuuko, he walks back out to the porch. “Here, are you happy?” he demands as he sets the heavy tray down. Mokona rushes over and grabs one of the sake bottles and starts to pour some into his cup.

 

Watanuki glares at him as he pours some tea for himself and Doumeki, and then sits. He lets the cup warm his hands. They are cold even on this warm day. He sits there dazed for a moment when he hears Yuuko talking to him, “Huh, what was that you said?”

 

“I said, Watanuki, that later on today, I want you and Doumeki to get something from a friend of mine. Her house is near Doumeki’s so he can show you where it is. After that we can have an early dinner.” She grins at the prospect of food to come.

 

Glaring at the big oaf, he declares, “Fine, but he gets to carry it, whatever ‘it’ is.”

 

“Unn,” is all Doumeki says as he downs more tea and refills his cup.

 

~*~

 

They leave a little after noon. It is a warm day with a faintly warm breeze that seems to make you hotter rather than cool you down. By the time he is half way there, Watanuki is sweating. It is humid to the point of suffocation, or he thinks it is. Doumeki shows no sign of discomfort.

 

He hates it. He is still trudging along when he finally grows bored and starts to look around. It isn’t like he hasn’t been this way before, but he is bored. It is mainly a street lined with yards enclosed with stone walls.

 

It has the effect of seeming to go on forever, but he can see the difference in each wall. That one is higher, that one painted a light green instead of white, that one has a gate in the wall facing the street. _‘I bet if it was dark out, they would all look the same,’_ he thinks with a laugh.

 

He stops in his tracks and stares at nothing. Something has clicked in his head. This… this is the road. The road he is always running down in his dreams, but why, why this road? It doesn’t lead anywhere he would want or need to go.

 

“Oi, hurry up,” Doumeki calls ahead. He sighs irritably and quickens his pace to catch up.

 

~*~

 

 _‘Damn that Yuuko, making me carry that heavy thing in this heat.’_ He growled in his head. It had been a large mirror incased in red wood (expensive o_O). It was really heavy and had taken both of them some effort to carry it back. _‘Even Doumeki was tired after carrying that damn mirror.’_ he ranted still in his head. _‘And now she wants me to make dinner. Well, she is going to have to wait because I’m going to take a shower to get clean and blessedly cool.’_

 

He ran to the bathroom and took a quick, cool shower to wash away the dust (from the mirror) and the sweat. Getting out, he walked out on the porch and demanded, “What is it you want for dinner?”

 

“Chicken stir-fry, with pasta parmesan, and some soda bread.” she replied evenly. “Oh and some Kirin beer if you please.”

 

“Ch…tsu...if…FINE!” He wailed as he stomped down the hallway to the kitchen.

 

He started be getting the bread ingredients together, mixing them, and letting the bread rise, than throwing it in the oven to bake. Going into the back of the kitchen where she kept her liquor cabinet, he pulled out two six packs and set one in a tub of ice so she could have both warm and cold beer.

 

He was so busy chopping vegetables for the stir-fry, that he didn’t hear Doumeki enter the kitchen. Stopping for a moment to wipe his slightly sweaty forehead, he noticed him standing near him.

 

“YOU ARE IN THE GREAT WATANUKI-SAMA’S DOMAIN. PLEASE LEAVE UNTIL I CALL YOU IN HERE, IF I EVER DO.” he declared loudly. Turning, he started chopping. He didn’t hear Doumeki leave. He glances up and saw him still standing there. Of course at that moment, the knife slipped and scoured his palm.

 

“Tch… damn it.” He muttered to himself.

 

“Where is the first aid kit?” He heard Doumeki ask.

 

“It’s on the top left hand shelf in that cabinet over there.” He replied as he went to the sink to wash his hand off.

 

“Here it is.” Watanuki held his hand out to him. Taking out a bottle of disinfect, he sprayed a few shots than took out a gauze pad and some clothe bandages. He placed the pad over the cut and started to wrap it with the cloth.

 

Watanuki stared at his hands. They were long boned with delicate looking fingers. They were surprisingly gentle as the firmly wrapped the bandage around his hand. He could see some old scars that were silvery white.

_‘They must have happened years ago.’_ he thought to himself. He had been staring at the hands for so long that it took a moment for him to realize that he had finished wrapping his hand, but he hadn’t let go. They felt really warm, almost hot. His skin began to tingle as he still didn’t let go.

 

Finally he gathered the courage to look up at his face. He was staring intently at him. He felt his heart squeeze for a moment than give a painful thump. A blush began to creep up his neck and onto his face. Shacking, he slowly took his hands from Doumeki’s and turned to the cutting board and vegetables. “Thank you for your help. Can you go tell Yuuko, dinner will be ready shortly?”

 

“Yea.” He replied as he walked out of the kitchen. His hands began to shake so he put the knife down. Staring into space, he stood there for a while until the timer on the stove forced him to move. Taking the bread out, he cut it up into small pieces and put it on a plate.

 

He finished cutting up the vegetables and chicken, than fried them in the skillet. Gathering all the things and the noodles that he had finished last, he set it on a tray and took it out side to them.

 

Throughout the dinner, he didn’t talk, though Yuuko talked enough to fill in his place. He refused to look at Doumeki. He just sat there eating his dinner, and when finished gathered up the dishes. Reaching for Doumeki’s plate, their fingers brushed each other, but he didn’t look up.

 

Walking back into the kitchen, and cleaned up. Doumeki left before he was finished and though he denied it, he was relieved. Finished with everything he crawled into bed for another sleepless night. Though looked forward to it because it meant that he wouldn’t have to think about what had happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 

It took forever to fall asleep. If his hand wasn’t aching, he was thinking about what had happened in the kitchen, _both times_. And all the other times, the time at the field during P.E., the hotel room on their mission. He felt heat buildup on his face as he thought about these suppressed memories.

 

Finally, sleep enclosed him in black folds and he drifted off to the nightmare, welcome if only to distract him from his current train of thought.

 

But this time was different, the road he ran on didn’t continue on the same part over and over again. It had started to move, but at a painfully slow pace that slowly drove the mind mad if it wasn’t impatient to see what was at the end of said road.

 

He woke in the same night sweat after the beast had chased him most of the night and he had gained only a few meters on the road, but he was kind of hopeful that he was finally going to reach the end of his nightmare in the near distant future.

 

~*~

 

He got ready for school with his usual gusto. He wanted to get away before Doumeki got there escort him like he usually did, but he also wanted to get away before Yuuko asked him to do anything.

 

He jogged on tiptoes down the hall towards the entrance, but right when he went in front of the door to Yuuko’s sitting room (the room where he first meets Yuuko in vol. 1) he heard her call out his name. “ Watanuki, come here for a moment.”

 

 _‘Damn it!’_ he thought to himself. He’d almost been in the clear. “Coming.” He gave a dejected sigh and opened the sliding door. There she was as usual, reclined in her chair.

 

“Oh, don’t sound so nervous Watanuki. I just wanted to give you a piece of advice.” She laughed as he made a face. “I was just going to say be careful around stairs. You never know what might happen when you’re walking on them.” She waved him out of the room and he sat on the step to get his shoes.

 

‘Stairs…what about them? Oh well, she always specks in riddles to confuse me.’ He stood, but when he opened the door he wanted to scream and rant as loud as he could. There was Doumeki waiting for him, leaning against one of the pillars in front.

 

He stalked past him, and growled, “You know, you don’t have to baby sit me EVERYDAY!” He screamed the last part. He just put his pinky finger in his ear and ignored him.

 

“WAAAAAAA!” He yelled as he turned from him and fast walked to school, Doumeki keeping up with him easily.

 

~*~

 

He dragged himself through four periods of class until he remembered that he was going to meet Himawari-chan for lunch. He ran to his locker and pulled out the box lunches he’d made that morning and walked towards their meeting place at the base of the stairs.

 

He’d gotten to the top of the stairs and saw them sitting at the bottom waiting for him. He started to walk down and stopped. He heard an odd ringing sound, but when he looked for its source, he saw nothing.

 

He only had a few seconds warning as his vision went red than black as he felt himself falling down. He tried to stop himself, but his body wouldn’t respond fast enough. The last thing he remembered was the blood pounding in his ears and a hard jolt as darkness engulfed his mind in a numbing fog.

 

~*~

 

He slowly opened his eyes to a plain white tiled ceiling. He glanced around, and saw a pale green curtain wrapped around the bed he was laying on. He saw no one around and sat up slightly. He winced when a muscle in his back pulled in the wrong direction.

 

He looked up when he heard the curtain pulled back. It was Himawari. “Watanuki-kun, how are you?” she asked as she went to sit a one of the chairs by the bed.

 

“Alright, what happened?” The last thing he remembered was walking down some stairs. _Be careful around stairs. You never know what might happen when you’re walking on them._

 

“Oh you passed out when you were coming down the stairs and fell down them, but Doumeki caught you before you fell too far. He was the one who carried you here to the Nurse’s office.” She informed him as she held out a paper cup with some water in it. “Here, she said you might me thirsty when you woke up.”

 

He took it, but didn’t drink it. He was thinking about what Yuuko had said that morning. Than what she said sank in and he asked in horror, “Doumeki carried me here? Great, now he’ll never let it go and I’ll be stuck making him lunch forever.”

 

He glared at the ceiling and sighed. He looked at Himawari, “So how long have I been out?”

 

“Only a few hours, but the nurse said that when you woke up, you could go home if you were up to it and if you weren’t that Doumeki was to help you back home.”

 

As if specking his name called him, he appeared in the gap made by the curtain. “I see you’re up.” He said to him in his monotone voice.

 

“WHY YOU…” He stopped and sighed. “Thank… Thank… Thank yo… THANK YOU!” He nearly yelled that last part out.

 

“Hmm.” was all he said in reply. “Yuuko called and asked me to help you back to the shop.”

 

“Fine, might as well get it over with and go now.” He pulled his legs over to the side of the bed and tried to stand, but fell back when they couldn’t support his weight. _‘Must of hurt my legs, too.’_

 

Doumeki shrugged, picked him up and flung him over his shoulder. He started walking out before Watanuki came to his senses. “Hey, HEY! Let me down. I said let me down!” He continued to ignore him as the left the school grounds.

 

“Where’s Himawari-chan?” he asked after a few seconds of jostling on his shoulder.

 

“She had a meeting to head to.” He continued to walk as if his weight was nothing.

 

They had been walking for a few minutes when he noticed something on his lower back was sliding further down his back. He glanced and saw it was Doumeki’s hand that was holding him on his shoulder. He ignored it, but he was blushing bright red when it settled on his butt.

 

He continued to ignore it, but as time went on, he noticed an odd feeling in his gut. He’d never felt something like this before, but when he tried to figure out what it was, he was lifted up of Doumeki’s shoulder. He slid down his front until his feet touched the ground lightly as Doumeki’s hands steadied him on his upper arms.

 

He made the mistake of looking up at his face at such a close distance. There was only a few inched between them.

 

Doumeki was looking at him with the same look he had had in the kitchen the other night. He felt heat radiating from his body and felt warmth spread from where his arms were being gripped in a strong hold.

 

He couldn’t look away. He felt he was glimpsing something that was important, but he didn’t know why.

 

He saw Doumeki lean in slightly, but didn’t know why. He seemed to be hesitating about something. He continued to look at him, but it was getting hard to concentrate. The warmth in his shoulders was heading further down and was distracting him as he tried to figure out why he was feeling this way.

 

It wasn’t until he felt something pressed against his lips that he was brought back to reality. He focused his eyes and saw it was Doumeki kissing him. He was pressed against his chest and he felt his heart hammering.

 

And just as suddenly, he was let go. He staggered back, and fell to the ground with a light thud. He looked up with shocked eyes, but Doumeki was walking away fast and didn’t look back.

 

He staggered to his feet and with the help of the wall and doors, he walked into the shop. He walked by were Yuuko sat and sat next to her. “So didn’t I tell you to watch out for stairs? Why are you flushed Watanuki?”

 

“Huh, oh it’s nothing. You were right, I should of paid better attention.” He sat there and gazed at the yard.

 

“You don’t have to make dinner tonight, just get some rest.” She told him as she stood and walked away.

 

“Alright.” He mumbled. Standing with the help of the wall again, he shuffled off to his room to shower, rest, and wonder what had just happened.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 

He lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. His mind kept reliving that moment over and over again, but no matter how many times he saw it, he couldn’t wrap him mind around the idea that Doumeki would do something like that.

 

He touched his fingers to his lips and felt the warmth again. He’d never known that a kiss could feel like that. Well, he’d never been kissed before so that was his first, but why had Doumeki kissed him? Just remembering the kiss made his face heat up and he felt the same warmth spread through his body.

 

 _‘Why? Why is this happening? What does it mean? I don’t even like him as a friend, but why do I feel like this?’_ he wailed in his head. He was ashamed to feel tears in his eyes and though he tried to fight it, one slide down his face. He’d never felt this way and it was confusing. His mind was running in circles.

 

He felt drained emotionally and physically. His eyes drooped, but his mind was still active. Turning on his side, he stared at his hand. He’d taken the bandage off and could see the scab in the dim lighting. It itched, but he didn’t scratch it.

 

He dozed for a few minutes, but awoke when he heard a small noise. Glancing around, he saw something fluttering in his room. A small butterfly glided down and landed on his hand. As he continued to stare at it, his mind slowed its circles and finally stopped. His eyes drooped and he slipped easily into the black oblivion of sleep and the waiting nightmare.

 

~*~

 

He stood in the street as usual, but the scene had changed. It was no longer pitch black. There was a huge full moon in the sky lighting everything into a pale brilliance. He heard the creature in the distance, but didn’t run. It was still far away and would be a few minutes before he saw it.

 

He looked around and saw a tree leaning over one of the walls. It seemed to glow, even in the shadow it created with the moon. He walked towards it and stopped in front of it.

 

Reaching out, he brushed one of the leaves. It exploded apart into thousands of small glowing butterflies. He stared in wonder as the butterfly flew away. Looking back, he saw that the tree was gone, but in its place was another butterfly. This one was different from the others. It was larger, and shown brighter. It looked like the one he’d seen in his bedroom.

 

He heard another roar from the creature. It was much closer and he needed to get moving. He went to shoo the butterfly away from the danger, but it was already moving down the road. He decided to follow it and ran to catch up.

 

He walked along next to it, but he barely noticed it. His mind was on other things. He thought he recognized where they were going, but couldn’t put his finger on it. It seemed he’d come down this road many times, but the answer eluded his grasp.

 

He was brought back to reality when he saw the butterfly land on the wall that was always there. He looked where it landed and noticed a sign below it. “Shrine up ahead.” A shrine, but why was there a shrine in his dream. The only shrine he knew of was Doumeki’s, but that was on a different street. His street was 26th street and this was… He looked around for a street sign.

 

Seeing one, he looked closely at it. “26th street.” ‘Why am I on the street that goes to Doumeki’s Shrine?’ he thought to himself.

 

His name triggered memories of the moment earlier. He blushed when he remembered the kiss. “He doesn’t even like me, so why did he do that?” he asked himself.

 

 _“Are you so sure of that? What about all the times he saved and protected you?”_ The voice was slightly feminine and was very light.

 

He glanced around and searched for the source of the voice. The only one around was the butterfly. “Yea right, he only did it to get free meals out of me.” he replied half-heartedly. He was starting to doubt that line of thought.

 

 _“But he never asked for them. You offered as payment for his help.”_ The voice answered him.

 

He glanced at the butterfly; the voice was coming from its direction. “And why are you being so nosy?” He asked it.

 

 _“Because if you don’t figure this out soon, that creature will eventually catch you and all that will be left is a lifeless husk without a soul.”_ It’s reply caused the hair on his neck to stand on end. It sounded like it was serious.

 

“But what is it that I need to figure out. All I know is that it’s something to do with Doumeki… and other things.” He blushed at the reference to the kiss.

 

 _“But why did he kiss you, you ask? You think he doesn’t like you, but what if you’re wrong and he does. What is your thought on that?”_ she asked him.

 

He was going to answer, but was cut short when he heard the creature’s scream call out. He started to walk again. ‘Doumeki likes me, but why would Doumeki like me at all? All I do is yell at him and get in trouble so that he gets hurt when he helps me. Why?’ his thoughts swirled in circles again as he thought this over.

 

“Why would he like someone like me?” he asked her as they walked down the road.

 

 _“Why does anyone like anyone? May be something in you draws him to you, or you remind him of something he associates with love and liking, but that isn’t what I asked. What is your thought on the fact that he might like you as more than a friend?”_ her reply was kind of impatient.

 

‘As more than a friend…’ he thought to himself. This was not something he was expecting. He didn’t know what to think. He’d never had a crush except for Himawari-chan, but that was just because she was so cute. He’d never known love, couldn’t even remember if he’d loved his parents. He had nothing to compare it with.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t _think_ I’m repulsed by it, but… I just don’t know. I’ve never been in this situation.” He answered her. He glanced behind him to see if the creature was in sight, but the road was empty.

 

_“You say you’re not against it, but what about your feelings towards him? Are they just as a friend or more than what you thought they were?”_

 

“I don’t know. I… every time he looks at me my heart speeds up, or I get warm. I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean? I guess the kiss was nice, but I’ve never been kissed before so I don’t know if it was just him or me or if they all feel like that… I… I don’t know why he does all this to me!” He yelled out. “I don’t know why he’s always saving me. Or why he kissed me. I just don’t know. Please tell me why?” he pleaded with her. He’d stopped walking and stared at her.

 

 _“Maybe because he loves you,”_ she answered softly. _“Maybe because he loves you enough to look over your faults and still love you.”_

 

He was taken aback. Why would Doumeki love him? He stood there and went through all the memories of the last few weeks. All the way to that failed mission. He remembered the look of pain on his face as the illusion worked on him. His worried voice. He also remembered his strength, the way that no matter what the situation, he always felt safe with him.

 

“He loves me,” he muttered to himself. He let the thought sink in to his thoughts. Changing him as it slowly took root. He felt his heart swell and beat faster. “He actually loves me?” he was talking out loud, but she answered him anyways.

_“Yes, but the next comes the hard part. Do you love him?”_

 

He question threw him off balance. Did he love Doumeki? He thought it over. He… yes he thought. I think… no I know I love him. Something clicked in his mind, as if the final piece of a puzzle had finally been found. He turned to he. “Yes, I love him.” His voice sounded overjoyed at the knowledge he had just gained.

 

 _“Then, you can go on now. Quickly, before it comes. You know the way you need to go.”_ she replied, her voice fading as she disappeared.

 

He looked ahead and saw the entrance to Doumeki’s shrine. He started to run. He heard the creature race after him. It screamed in defiance as he neared his safe place. And there was Doumeki, in his shrine outfit with his bow aimed at the creature. He let loose and the creature screamed once in defeat and faded.

 

He was about to run into him, but he awoke and stared at the ceiling. The butterfly was gone. He knew what he had to do. Swiftly, he got out of bed. He didn’t even hurt from his fall. He grabbed one of his yukatas that Yuuko had given to him and put it on. It was still hot and humid outside even with the sun down.

 

He glanced at his clock, 12:30 PM. He had been asleep for about 8 hours. He left his room and walked towards the front of the shop. He didn’t even meet Yuuko as he walked down the hall. The shop was quiet. He left the shop and walked down the path towards the two stone fence posts.

 

He stopped in front of them and took a breath. This was going to be hard without Doumeki there to keep the spirits at bay. He took a step outside and heard a scream.

 

He froze. It had sounded just like the creature of his dream. He turned and there it was. Exactly the same shadowed creature. He took a step back and ran.

 

He heard it chasing him down the road, but he knew the way by heart, as if he had a tracking device on the one place he wanted to be.

 

He turned a corner and there it was. The shrine was still lit up slightly and there he was. The same as his dream and he was armed with his bow. His heart soared at the sight of him.

 

He reached him just as he fired. The creature screamed and as it’s scream faded, another voice called out to him, “Your welcome Watanuki, now it’s all up to you.” It whispered to him and as he turned he saw the butterfly floating away. He could see it clearly now. It was black and white with a checkered pattern.

 

He was still shaking when he noticed that Doumeki had his arm around his shoulder. “ Come inside.” He steered him towards the shrine.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 

He followed him inside, but wouldn’t look at him. He felt the heat coming off his arm on his shoulder and blushed. He felt awkward this close to him.

 

They entered through a side door and he sat on the mat placed in front of him, but didn’t look up. He watched his feet walk across the room and sit a tray with some tea on it in front of him. “Here, drink up.” his voice said over his head. He grabbed a cup, but his hands were shaking too badly to drink. He set it back down and took a deep breath to steady his nerves than picked it back up and took a sip.

 

It was green tea, bitter, but with a hint of something sweet in it, probably honey. It seemed to steady his nerves better. He drank it down and glanced up.

 

Doumeki was staring at him over his cup. He flushed slightly and looked away. He heard him set his cup down with a click and braced himself for the question he knew was waiting to be asked.

 

“Are you alright Kimihiro?” He was shocked and looked at him. He didn’t usually call him by his first name.

 

“I’m… all right, just shaken.” he replied slowly. It wasn’t the question he’d been expecting. “Th- thank you for saving me, again.” he said quietly, not looking him in the eye as he said it. He knew he must be flushed bright red by now.

 

There was no reply and he looked at him again. He saw something flash in his eyes, but didn’t know what it meant.

 

“Hmm.” he replied in his monotone voice. He seemed to be in thought, but then stood up with a grunt. “You’re shivering.” he said and walked to the other side of the room and grabbed a blanket from a small clothes press up against the wall.

 

Coming back, he draped it around his shaking shoulders. He looked up to thank him and froze. His face was only a few inches from his. He felt his heart speed up and heat flow to his face and neck.

 

He watched as he bent closer and felt his heart stop for a second when his lips touched his own. He’d never felt like this before, his heart pounding with a thunderous roar in his chest and ears, hot sweetness racing from his lips through his body making it hyperaware of everything around himself. The hard floor and mat beneath him, the cooling night air flowing through the room, and the heat radiating from Doumeki as he knelt down behind him.

 

He turned slightly for a better position and his hand rose to rest lightly on Doumeki’s chest. Doumeki pulled back and panted lightly while he stared him in the eyes. He arched an eyebrow at his change in behavior. He glared and was about to yell at him, but was cut off with another kiss.

 

Doumeki’s hands slid around his slim frame to pull him closer. His body moving on instinct wrapped his arms around Doumeki’s neck and tangled his fingers in his hair.

 

He felt himself being lowered, but wasn’t paying attention. His mind was totally focused on Doumeki’s lips. He gasped when Doumeki stopped kissing him. “Huh…” his thoughts were scattered.

 

Doumeki smiled down at him, granted it was a small smile, but a smile none the less. He was shocked. Was he actually seeing an expression on his face? He stared up at him in disbelief or until he noticed he was lying on his back with Doumeki over him. Then he flushed bright red.

 

“I…um…” he didn’t know what to say. This was still new to him and he was confused about what to do or say in this kind of situation.

 

“Shh.” Doumeki placed a finger over his lips. “This must be a shock to you?” He asked him in a quiet voice as he gazed down at him.

 

“A little. I…I was so stupid not to realize it sooner. I mean I even needed help before I even realized what you mean to me,” he answered in a small voice. Great, now he was becoming shy all of a sudden.

 

“Help?” Doumeki asked and sat up slightly.

 

“Yes, help.” he looked at the wall, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. “This person or thing, I’m not sure, was helping me in my dreams. It still took me a few weeks to figure it out. I’m such an idiot!” the last part he cried out and glared at the wall, trying to place the blame on it than himself.

 

Doumeki grabbed his arm that he’d flung over his eyes and pulled it back. “No, not an idiot, just naïve.”

 

“Why? Why are you always so nice to me? All I’ve ever done to you is yell at you and make fun of you, but you still go on protecting me. Why?” he demanded, staring him in the eye.

 

“The yelling and all that is just you and nothing can change that. And I protect you because I want to. I never want to loss you, it would be more than I could bear,” he confessed to him and a low passionate voice, the end sounded closer to a growl.

 

“That’s what she told me, but I wasn’t sure if it was just from pity or if you actually…” he stopped and glanced away.

 

“Actually, what?” he demanded. When he didn’t answer, Doumeki put his hand under his chin and forced him to look at him. “Actually, what?” he demanded again. He just shook his head and didn’t answer. He leaned down, “Won’t you answer me?” He shook his head again.

 

He leaned down even closer and pressed his lips lightly to his own. He tried to resist, but crumpled when he felt Doumeki’s tongue flick across his closed lips. He gasped and his lips parted to yell at him again, but he was cut off when he Doumeki went on the attack and slipped his tongue in between his parted lips.

 

He melted into him and gave up as he kissed him back with a defeated frenzy. He was gasping for breath when they pulled apart. A small string of saliva connecting their tongues. “Are you going to answer the question or do I have to keep at this?” he asked in a low voice.

 

He shivered at the implied threat and didn’t know whether to keep resisting or to give up. Sighing, he tried to look away, but Doumeki held onto his chin.

 

“Look at me Kimihiro. Actually what?” he asked again.

 

“Actually… actually loved me.” he replied in a small voice. He stared up at him in apprehension as he waited for him for him to react badly.

 

He stared to laugh. “Was that all? Kimihiro, if I said it wasn’t from pity, but from love for you, would you believe me?” he asked him in a low intense voice.

 

“I don’t know. I still can’t figure out why you would love me,” he answered in a small voice, still looking him in the eye.

 

“Well than know this Kimihiro, I love you. Even if you or I don’t know the reason why. I don’t know why or how I fell for you. It just happened and I don’t care about the why.”

 

He felt tears welling up in his eyes, but ignored them. “I… I love you, too.” his voice was slightly chocked up by the lump in his throat. He’d never had anyone tell him they loved him. It made him warm and he felt his heart beat a little painfully.

 

“I know.” Doumeki replied and bent down to kiss him.

 

He heard a sigh in his mind. ‘It’s about time.’ He smiled against Doumeki’s lips as he listened to his subconscious’s rant.


	8. Chapter 8

**Epilogue**

 

“KANPAI!” the three sitting around the table cried as sake was poured.

 

“Ah, Yuuko-san, this hit’s the spot, thank you for inviting me over.” The woman raised her glass in a toast. She had long black hair tied back in a braid that reached down to her waist and her yukata was checkered in black and white. She drank it down in a gulp and gasped. “AHH, this really does hit the spot.”

 

“It really does, doesn’t it?” Mokona answered and bounced off to mess around in Watanuki’s room.              

 

“It’s nothing compared to all the help you’ve given me, Shirome-san. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been here to help and I believe I owe you some payment.” She glanced up and looked into her sightless white eyes.

 

“Oh Yuuko-san, none of that, I’ve already received my payment.” She held up an arrow. “This is more than enough and it smells so nice. He really does have a pure, refreshing aura, doesn’t he?” she looked up and smiled.

 

“I know, but not so pure if you know what I mean.” she grinned evilly. They both laughed.

 

“But Watanuki does deserve a break. His pour subconscious was laboring so hard trying to get his attention. I’m glad I was able to nudge him in the right direction.” she laughed again.

 

“You always were good when it came to illusions of the heart.” She poured more sake.

 

“Actually, the only thing I did was give his subconscious a form to take so it could talk to him. He did most of the work. I’m glad I did though, I don’t think it would have turned out so well if I had really meddled.” she glanced up at the moon.

 

“Well, it looks like I must leave you now. I have to be somewhere later.” She bowed to Yuuko and dissolved into butterflies. One of them, larger than the rest and checkered flew to Yuuko and landed on her outstretched hand. “Good bye Yuuko-san, it was nice to see you again.” She flew off into the night.

 

“Have a good night, Shirome-san. It looks like Hitsuzen has bound you to Watanuki, too. Let’s hope that will be good enough for what is to come.” She stood and walked back into the shop.

**End**


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